It's just Me Abby

In a world where achievement is celebrated and success is praised, is it possible that we lose just a little hope in ever arriving? With the plethora of talent in massive amounts of clever people, what are the chances of my friend’s next YouTube video becoming a viral success? Surely we are the Wonder Women of the world. The ones you wonder if there is not something just possibly a little off. Or missing. Like my brain when I’ve just sat through a Sunday morning sermon but apparently didn’t retain the crux of the message to discuss in life group the same evening. Or the moment when my husband is deep in conversation with me and then calls my name to bring me back from the far off place that apparently manifested itself on my face.

These kinds of people. The good, familiar ordinaries; the second bests. Solid, admirable people who give so much to society on undetected levels. Granted a few of us break through the barriers of moderate and begin to climb ourselves up towards great. But for most of us we are either contented or discontented to carry on the normalcy of daily routine that comes to us ever so consistently.

I am not a talentless person. I have giftings. I can sing sweetly and play an accompanying guitar. I can think creatively and write somewhat compellingly. I can engage the stranger and make friends easily. I can mother like a boss. All wonderful things, but in a competitive culture my talents are top drawer only in my own little grand, bubble world. And although my mind flirts with thoughts of breaking through to the paramount I find great rest in the steady course of the unexceptional day to day. Only one life, twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last said CT Studd. Every day lived is a day spent, never to return. And in the end, if everything is lost but the work done for Christ then I eagerly desire to work with the indestructible.

According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire. 1 Corinthians 3:10-15

I want to live every single day of my life abiding in the boundless Jesus. I want to love my husband in the perfectly beautiful partnership kind of way. I want to mother my children in such a trustworthy and authentic manner that reaps lasting reward into their adulthood. I want to spend and be spent showing people the grace and gospel of Jesus—the greatest rescue plan mankind has ever seen.

What then about these beautiful giftings and talents I happen to have? Use them I can, pivotally or pettily! But let it be in a fashion that ultimately showcases Jesus. Because the moment I grandstand myself is the moment my ego takes the center. And the moment my ego takes the center it begins to evolve into a monstrosity. Egotism becomes a monster because it is incapable of selfless love. It can only produce selfish love and selfish love is a grave danger.

 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Without love I am nothing. What a frightening indictment.

I am nothing.

Without the love of Christ coursing through me I am nothing. Without imitating Christ’s love I am nothing.

I am nothing apart from His love. I may be accomplished, intelligent, lovely—but when egotism replaces the precious love of Christ flowing out of every member of my body, I’ve surrendered the indestructible for collapsing rot.

Jesus loved with everything he possessed, not withholding anything back. Might I make that the very aim of my life in return? Becoming a someone only by loving hard and well all people.

And today it begins with my sphere of influence: my husband, my children, my neighbors.