It's just Me Abby

In my 30+ years of living I have experienced many different cultures, philosophies, and ethos’s. I have lived near and far, traveled east and west, and have compiled a strong list of golden rules I like to adhere to. Rule number one: never trust anyone who says runner’s high exists.

I am cautious of the lovely people that enthusiastically champion the high of running. They speak encouraging words to me of persistence and perseverance, but I all I can make of it is Charlie Brown teacher talk, a bunch a wah wah wah. Surely its a myth and a legend. Beware of them.

I never enjoyed running. Never ran track in school. My ideal intervals are walking, stopping, and back to walking.

I had just recently given birth to my first born when I saw a facebook post from a friend (and a mother of three at the time) who was looking for running partners to join her on base runs. At 5:00am. In the dead of morning. While the western world was still nestled cozily under warm covers dreaming. My stretched and flabby self fell deeper into postpartum depression.

I’m active by nature and have many times attempted to get into a running rhythm. When Laura Hillenbrand’s book Unbroken came out and I read the true, moving story of the former Olympian runner and war veteran Louis Zamperini I was inspired. I became a runner for approximately 4ish weeks. I tried so hard to find joy in the running but it seemed impossible. I never found the pleasure in it so I just ran for results. It’s a love hate relationship with running so its on and off through the years.

I had two of my friends sitting on my couch one morning discussing the book of Matthew with me. We’ve been reading it together for the past month and have been meeting weekly to discuss it. One of the clear themes we noticed in Matthew was Jesus’ heavenly mind in everything he saw, heard, and did. It was as natural as breathing air. His thoughts, his words, and his actions and interactions were, at all times and in every way, in perfect harmony with his Father. Like the rich symphony of the heavens entwining itself with the humming melodies of the earth.

So natural for Jesus, so unnatural for us. And rghtly so! Our sin caused the massive chasm between us and the God of Heaven leaving us physically and metaphysically unable to grasp him or his kingdom. Jesus never committed sin that caused a breach in his union with the Father.

For those of us who believe in Jesus, he has bridged the chasm between us and his father. So when Paul instructs us in Colossians 3 to be heavenly minded, how do we make something unnatural become naturally instinctive?

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”

Is it not comparable to my running analogy I started? Let me finish it.

Last year was the beginning of serious transition for our family. We are no stranger to change so readjustment and adaption comes fairly easy to us. At the threshold of last year’s developments my mind and my emotions were beginning to spiral and I needed an outlet. Greg suggested I give CrossFit a try. He had just recently started it and told me to come check it out. Remember, I’m an active and athletic person, and can easily romanticize fitness endeavors. But CrossFit was beastly and I was intimidated. I have never in my life joined a fitness group of any kind. I did not know the names of the different equipment or the exercise movements. The only WOD’s I was familiar with was the winter mint gum I chewed. But I went with Greg and bumbled my way through the 60 minutes of high-intensity interval training and sweat. My cutthroat, competitive self kept returning the next 12 weeks for more. The endorphins they released within me was God’s natural saving grace for my mental state those three months.

When we moved to Pittsburgh I left CrossFit behind. We joined a community center 30 minutes away with an indoor pool, basketball courts, and a gym. We go there as often as we can manage to get our family of 6 agreeably out the door. Which is code for infrequent.

There was now a deficit in my workout routine so the only viable option it seemed was to try running. Again. Our home is located in Mt Washington and is very accessible to downtown Pittsburgh. It’s a 5 minute drive, or a 30 minute run.

My first run was a loop around our quasi neighborhood, 1.5 miles. I soon explored a more scenic route and ran to the Catholic Church on the cliff overlooking the city, a 2.2 mile loop. All these runs were music and scenery driven. Running was all about a good playlist to keep me motivated and beautiful views to take my breath away, the short, ragged breath I had left depleted by the terrible side cramps. I found no joy in the run itself, and my relief could not come quicker. The ONLY way I maintained any sense of discipline was my extreme aggression for competition. I surpassed my husband in physical fitness back at CrossFit in Tennessee and I wanted, needed, to maintain that. As I eased into running I understood that the further I ran out from the house the longer it would take for me to get back, and the more impressive it would sound to my husband when I returned. Little by little I added more distance to my runs. I started running up to the Catholic Church, then I started passing the church. Before long I started running down the mountain, then added crossing the bridge into downtown and looping a small park.

It snuck up on me, this satisfaction I began to find while I ran. Pushing through the discomfort for months to finally notice a possible enjoyment of what running makes me feel. No longer was I thinking about how much I hate running and when will it be over, or the godless music I pumped through my headphones to psyche me up. I was shocked when I realized I was having clear, comprehensive thoughts about life. I even began listening to worship music without growing weary as I pushed my body forward. Is it possible I have finally reached the mountain top of runner’s high?

Building and repetitious use of a muscle eventually creates muscle memory. Is not setting our minds on things above an act of discipline that eventually builds up into an innate naturalness, ergo a muscle memory?

Even the most naturally inclined person must withstand the process of development. Success only comes through steady exertion and even pain.

How do we train our minds to constantly harmonize with God’s? How do we bridge the gap between the earthly and the heavenly? Our days, jobs, routines, relationships, and problems seem to ground us, but we were meant to fly!

The best elementary answer I can come up with takes me back to the days my family lived in the small town of Whitecastle, Louisiana. Greg pastored the little Baptist church there four and a half years. We had a small, thriving youth group made up of a dozen or so very unchurched kids from the front part of town. One young man’s name was Montravis, but he preferred to be called Money. He was about 13 years old.

Greg had been been teaching the church that the most important question was who is Jesus? That very week Money told Greg and me that some Mormons had come to his door. He was excited about what he had been learning in church so he invited them inside to talk. They tried to persuade Money of their beliefs, and I’ll never forget what he said. “But let me ask you a question, you Normans. Is Jesus God?” They answered that Jesus was God’s son, but Money wouldn’t have it. “No, that’s not what I asked you, Normans. Is Jesus God?”

Any religion that cannot put Jesus on equal level with God and placed within the trinity is a false gospel. So let me ask this very important question. How high can you put Jesus? How high can you make him in your life? Is he worthy to be highest? Supreme over every thought, every word, and every action? Then place him there. Allow him to take precedence. Out of love and passion, or out of loyalty and duty. And to each it’s season. The higher you place Jesus in mind and heart the stronger the muscle becomes the quicker it becomes memory. Jesus in you then begins to bridge the gap between earth and heaven and you become a beautiful gospel influence to everything and everyone around you.

There’s more that I could write, but you mustn’t forget rule number 1.

If indeed I have reached runner’s euphoria, you must remain suspicious of my every ambiguous word.